A layering of hurt upon hurt

"Maybe I would have protected my heart from some things, but would that really have been better? To hold myself apart because I was too scared that something might not be forever"

So,if A levels are over (well,95%over), then guess what? My worst fear is here.
Without all that hardcore studying, the mundane routines,the stressing out over content and the essay writing skills... I feel a protective arm stripped away from me.

What do i rely on now to block away the haunting presence that surrounds me? To live life with a secret story,(maybe not much of a secret haha),with every intricate detail and every scar,the exact memories that never fail to frighten me? Will i ever learn to recognize every healing process that is taking place,and the smiles that are perhaps beginning to be painted back on my face?

"You're beautiful just the way you are,and I love it all; every line and every scar"
Even so if those scars came from you?...